Teia
My husband of 20 years also has manic depression. He had it when we met and lithium and others meds did not help until a new combination was tried 7 years ago. Now he is mainly down, with a lot of anxiety even panic attacks. He has said that he sees his illness almost as a living entity which wants to do what it can to survive, regardless of what pole he's at. Therefore, on a high he's urged to do things which will keep him high and on his lows, the things which will keep him low. Knowing that, the obvious step for him is not to give in to his urges. If, for example, he's afraid he might panic coming downtown on a bus, he rejects the urge to stay coseted at home and comes downtown to meet me at work and we have dinner out. This takes tremendous energy and discipline and, frankly, doesn't always work. He gives in then has to deal with with guilt. I try to encourage him to use cognitive therapy techniques to keep his attitude in the right place i.e. guilt that does not lead to the development of some future option is not constructive. It must be sidlined, perhaps by allowing a limited, pre-designated time to "indulge" in it. Then become too busy to be seduced into it. We are learning how to do this together. It's a strategy that helps me cope with my tendancies to see things negatively too. I'm finding that thinking style takes practice to become habitual and so I really do challenge myself daily. It works. I'm sure there are other strategies people use as well so best of luck with all the advice you get.