Kathy
Why would you want to send him away? You said he was you grandson and that you chose him. Take it for what it's worth but I have a 19yr.old with the same problem and when he was in the second gd. he was asked to leave I tried everything (drugs too) it's not worth it I don't have my kids as a trophy, I love them they all have there own abilities and school isn't that big a help in my opinion love him be there for him (but don't let on that it's O.K. to be a ass) he won't let you down it will be very trying but if you loved him enough to get him maybe you can love him enough to live with him. It doesn't go away, it doesn't get better but it does get easier, he can live a normal life if he wants. Your job is to be there for him while both you and he feel you need to go to the funny farm. Once again I'm living that life and there is no quick fix other than patiences.