Shannon
I have recently been seperated from my husband. I was unhappy with our relationship for many reasons. I had always been a party girl per say but noticed that I wanted to party more and more. My husband noticed, but never forced the issue. Wish he did. I have been on my own since November 2 and living alone has been quite upsetting for me, upon my moving to my own place, I was notified that the centre where I worked would be closing because of lack of funding. So, new place, different town and no work? Ugggh. Well, I have found a new job that I start tomorrow. There are some blessings in life. I have been feeling rather overwhelmed as of late, insecure as hell and lonely. I have been drinking far too much as of late. Trying to kill the pain, the loneliness, my unhappiness. The last few years I have researched spirituality to give me strength in my life. That isn't working either, well, not all the time. I think I have a drinking problem now. I am not going to drink for the next while and see if it becomes a problem for me, I need to know the answer to this question. My father and mother were both alchoholics and it did end up killing both of my parents. My dad died because of alchoholism, my mother died in a car accident which was related to alchohol. Then, there is me. God help me. I know part of it can be related genetically, also socially and environmentally. I think I am in big trouble. I hope to God that I am wrong, but when I look back on the past few months, even years, it started out with only drinking on friday nights, then the last few months, it was every other day. That is just not right. With not working for the past month I was drinking every other day and even went to the bar by myself just for company and some social drinking. That to me is not a good sign. I want to stop this before it gets a hold of me, maybe it already has. I want to kick this negative aspect of my life. Why am I writing this? I am too ashamed to discuss it with anyone at the moment.