Lori
My dad also drank, although he never lived around me. I used to be afraid of drinking, and stopped for the same fear you have. You seem to have a good relationship with your own body and mind, listen to them they are telling you something. Many alcoholics are in denial which you have not come to yet, but I wouldn't ignore your feelings. Find a support group in your area whether it be through the yellow pages, through church, or local chapters of the United Way. You need support...don't be afraid to seek it. Bless you.