Laura
Hi, First, I'm very sorry for your loss. My mom died of the same thing in May of 89.A very healthy woman, who owned her own business. She left to go to a family reunion & a day before she was to get to her destination, she had a terrible headache at her motel & proceeded to vomit & had diarea terribly. My father suggested going to emergency to get checked out. She started feeling better & got herself together & walked down the stairs to get into the car to go to emergency. She was able to fill out papers at the hospital & was admitted to be checked out..... She was then diagnosed with a small blood clot in the brain, the size of a quarter. My sisters & I were called at that time by my father & said that we should fly where they were just in case something came of this clot. Of course, scared to death, we immediately flew to them. When I got there, I was able to see her. I asked her if she knew who I was & she seemed a little weak, but responded quite well. I kissed her & talked with her & everyone else did the same. They put her on some meds to shrink the clot & said that she should be fine. It was getting late, so we decided we should go get something to eat.. Left for a restaurant, ate & then went to our motel thinking that we would let her rest. A short time later they called us back & said that she went into a coma & another clot formed the size of a softball.... When we got back to the hospital, we sat with her & had good feelings that everything would be okay & that we just had to be patient & wait for the blood thinners to work. WRONG! She wasn't getting better & the Drs. decided to do surgery. To this day, I still am angry that they opened her up. They said that the second clot was pressing on her spine & that they could relieve some of the pressure, but that they knew 100% that she would be a vegetable afterwards.... Not having a say in the whole matter, I watched as her head was wrapped & wheeled to the surgery room.... That was the last I saw of my mom..... She was then put on life support, but my family couldn't watch her live that way.... We asked them to take her off & they did. My 2 sisters stayed in her room until the end result, but feeling sick inside, I went down to the lobby & sat there asking myself why this had to happen to my mom..... Went back up to the floor after not knowing what was happening. My father said not to go into the room, that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing her. I listened & just stood still. A very short time later, I heard my sisters scream (something that still haunts me). I knew it was all over.... It's been 11 yrs. now & I still feel the pain & sometimes cry because I think you always want your mom no matter how old you become. I'm 47 now & think often of how much my mom has missed with all the grandchildren getting older, married, graduating college, etc. I think of all the normal things of how I could have had a better relationship with her & just how precious life is with your parents. There's no going back & with time, the pain does ease up. Reading your letter, I want you to know that I feel your pain. You need to think of all the wonderful times with your mom & I believe that our moms will always be with us watching over us. Writing your letter to Healthlink, was a great step. Your not bottling everything up inside. Your sharing your feelings which is healthy indeed. Your not alone with this kind of death. It's ugly, we'll never understand it! Take care & if you need a friend, I'm here....