Nancy
I can relate. I'm 44 with similar symptoms. My sister and I went to a menopause seminar, and the female doctor speaker described headaches that come with gradual hormonal changes in the 40's. She said most doctors need to do hormonal tests during this time, though many don't. She also puts some of her patients on a mild hormonal replacement to keep things more even. My doctor is from the old school, so I didn't ask him about that, but I did tell him my symptoms. He did do two things that just a few years ago, he wouldn't have, but now he says medical research backs this up. First he put me on the pill (years ago this was a no-no to women in their 40's) and this straightened up my cycles, gave me lighter or sometimes no periods, and no more headaches. He also put me on an antidepressant. He said he never would have done this before, but says again that women's symptoms of perimenopause are alleviated with certain antidepressants. However, beware of the lack of desire. Most antidepressants make this worse esp. if you are also on the pill. Do your research to find something with less side effects. Good Luck!