Angel
Message 1 of 1
To whom it may concern, my name is Angel [Male - 06/26/63]. I have a Hiatle Hernia with G.E.Reflux, am ADD, had my tonsils and adnoids removed [because I couldn't and still can't seem to breathe through my nose], since I was 2 Yrs. old [I swallowed a whole peanut - it was stuck in my lung] result - I've had Pneumonia and Bronchitis - almost died many times - I'm still prone to these ailments on a yearly basis, I've had my appendix removed, and I've had multiple stitiches ...other than those things... I've never been diagnosed with any particular dysfunction and or disease. ~Whew, got that out of the way~ However, I feel that [mainly] for the last 16 years my body has been falling apart. The basic part of this started when I was young, I can't remember exactly when maybe 12 or 13 Yrs. old, but I remember when it got worse. In January 1992, I awoke in the middle of the night gasping for air. I ended up in the ER. This happened to me for what seems like months. Was it sleep apnea? An ENT said no way!!! Was it my Hernia and reflux? Hmmm! At one point I wore a heart monitor with alarm - for a month, I set that off almost every night because my heart would be pounding - as I awoke from a lack of oxygen. The doctor's said ...that it was okay [because] it was within a normal range for someone in my shape and condition. They went on to assume ...I was stressed and depressed! I told them this couldn't be, as it was happening only while I was sleeping. I then told them my problems up to that point [symptoms to follow]. *My Uncle and Mother have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, they [uncle/mom] continually tell me I too have it. Doctor's seems reluctant!!! Anyway, I have pursued many avenues to lessen my discomforts; this has come at a great price. My self-esteem has gone down and I feel as though I've been a guinea pig both physically and physiologically. Doctor's have given me most of the anti-depressant drugs available and I ~personally~ have pursued therapy, even went as far as to try and commit myself as I had pains and much more that Multi-Doctor's said couldn't be real!!! The results? I get doped up from their med's usually ending up in the ER. It seems as though I have a low tolerance for most med's. Or is that physiological as well? ~Yes, I do have a slight attitude!!!~ Well now, depression seems to be my end result. Imagine that!! How much can someone take being told that it's "ALL IN THEIR MIND!" I could only take the doctor's pill pushing for 3 - 4 years. I have been "grinning and bearing it" on my own for what seems to be a 100 years now, trying Vitamins, and Alternative Med's [herbs, acupuncture, etc], 85% of the time I do very well. So what are my systems? I ache [everywhere] almost all the time - degrees of pain are variable as well as where the pain is located. I have migraines that stop me dead in my tracks, lower back pain accompanied usually with hip, knee, and foot problems, add to that body parts [mainly while resting] get numb, and tingly, my endurance in most cases is nil - there are times I surprise myself ...but if I do exert myself, within usually a hour, the payoff is a migraine, neck and or lower body breakdown, especially the next day, I'm always tired when I have to be awake and awake when I should be tired ...blah blah!!! ...I think you get the point. Here's the weird part: I use to be a very athletic guy, ...Cross Country, Track, Swim, Basketball, Cycling, etc... I used to run a minimum of 2,000 miles a year for 6 years straight, not to mention my other sport activities - the running has stopped but the other activities are going as long as I can maintain (Last 14 years? - 95% Alcohol free). Another important part of my problems: In the latter time frame I crashed my vehicle [Jan. 1993] ...surprisingly I didn't even get a scratch. I flipped 14 times according to eyewitnesses. I didn't even get a ticket!!! I to this day don't know what happened but the police blamed it on obscure occurrences - a very strong wind gust was mentioned. Anyway, I mention this crash because this is where my problems took yet another turn. Among all the other problems I had been dealing with, now I acquired a new bizarre feature. I thought at first I was claustrophobic but this new problem is very selective. Put me in/on a plane, bus, a place where no easy access out is available, any situation and then tell me or at best make me feel as though I can't leave ...whoa, I want out!!! I've embarrassed myself many times. I have been trying to attack these situations straight on, especially when challenged by my girlfriend. 90% of the time I manage, 10% I'm gone, avoid it, or stay as long as I can stand it. Summary: I've done well these last 10+ years, but it appears when I think of who I was and who I now am ...I've been slowly giving into the pain and fear things. So in closing, I guess I'd be interested in what you think and or what some of your colleagues may think. Thanks .....ANGEL