Moltomatta
Message 1 of 1
This is a new manifestation of my mental health problems. I've been depressed most of my life, i.e., 46 years. I've been diagnosed with BPD and major depression. I think the labels fit well, so you may assume that I behave in a fairly textbook manner. The only twist is that I am very fortunate to be very well educated and I have worked successfully most of my life in professional positions. Recently, my ability to dissociate went above and beyond what was called for. The Enforcer was out to kill the Child and, now, the Shell is running the show on automatic pilot. Needless to say THAT scene got me locked into a psychiatric unit for a few days. This past weekend the Child tried to return; I knew it because I was feeling self-destructive. The Enforcer moved right in and removed the Child and I felt better: tired, but not self-destructive. My therapist has suggested that I integrate the Enforcer and the Child -- I do not understand how the process of integration occurs and certainly not in this case between two parts so diametrically opposed to the other's existence. If anyone had personal insight or sources for helpful information, I would appreciate receiving it. Moltomatta